Achievement comes in all shapes and sizes but— let me tell you, mama—it’s an inside job.
True success first entails wrapping our heads around the disparity between what pop culture parades as success and what our genuine fulfillment actually looks like.
We’re digesting so much content in a day, our brains have a hard time realizing what we actually want and why the hell we feel so icky after scrolling mindlessly, bombarded with perfectly curated galleries, lofty promises on how to make our brands succeed, and ads that are urging us to buy this and that.
To establish lasting fulfillment, simple awareness of our personal definition of success (or lack thereof) is a start. Shut out the noise for a few hours and sit with your own thoughts and perceptions instead of seeking distraction—bonus points for a full-day digital detox.
Once our minds are rid of the clutter, we can ask ourselves:
“What is success to me?”
“Where did that definition come from?”
“Does it feel right for me or am I adopting someone else’s definition?”
When we shut out the noise, we can tap into our intuition and define what we want without being influenced by outsiders. Aligning our desires with our values is crucial for sustainable success in whatever we’re doing.
Alignment may seem like a yogic buzzword but it’s absolutely necessary for success in every facet of our lives.
It's all about our values—they serve as our internal compass. When we’re feeling off course, we can calibrate our compasses based on where we’re at and where we’re going. Checking back in with our core values and desired feelings yearly, monthly, and daily is crucial for maintaining our feel-good-flow.
If we’re easily triggered, stressed, or beyond exhausted we are not going to be in flow which means we are not going to produce anything of lasting value—for ourselves, our clients, or our babes.
Contrary to popular belief, we don’t get a busy-ness badge of honor to wear for running ourselves into the ground.
Less is more. Sure, we have goals to meet, deadlines to keep up with, and babes to care for but if we’re not taking the time to slow down and check in with ourselves, it’s all going to feel like a chore. Ew.
Turns out, one unavoidable prerequisite for success is happiness.
Happiness isn’t pretending we don’t have problems in our lives. Happiness is living with well-being. It’s actually very simple but it’s not easy.
Martin E.P. Seligman, often referred to as the founder of Positive Psychology, developed the P.E.R.M.A. model, one proven answer to living with authentic happiness. His model (below) outlines the components of a flourishing, happy life.
Fascinating though not surprising, the PERMA model is straightforward and universal—we can all study each area to see where our biggest opportunities for growth arise.
As parents, we’re all just trying to do the best we can. But why so often does that feel like spinning our wheels? Why do we feel pulled in 17 different directions at one time?
Business ownership and motherhood give us tremendous opportunity to strengthen what’s already stellar about us and to be humble while admitting, there’s always room for improvement in certain areas.
Success and happiness are so finely intertwined that the lines can be blurry if we don’t take time to define what they both mean to us.
Here’s to exploring success and happiness through a new lens, the one that matters the most—our authentic one.